Monday, October 8, 2012

"the things they carried" nicholas nowell 10/8/12 post #1

after reading 50 pages of this book, i have liked it and can relate to a lot of the feeling that tim O'brien is expressing. i am having a hard time in life finding a purpose and point to things. i've done a lot and been very spoiled up to this point in my life and now that its time to start doing things on my own, i cant find the motovation to get up and do things. they have always been done for me and im scared to even try to do them. this drives me crazy inside and it has created a little prison in my head and how i think about any subject and just daily life. i saw a post on facebook early today and it was "you can live life, or you can exist" and at this point in time i was to just exist because i feel that i dont have a purpose. and having all this self pity makes me seem like a weak person and that is probly., very to to a certain degree but i just cant get out of my ways of thinking and even though that i am venting on here its just not enough and dont know what else to do besides drive my self crazy worrying about stuff that cant be changed and a bunch of things i filled my head with for a long time and now am starting to believe it and second guess and question things. once again i am sorry for having to post about my "stupid" little problems, but there big in my head and i wont be okay til i get past them.

1 comment:

  1. Nick -
    I am so sorry that you are dealing with all this stress right now. One positive is that you are trying to "deal." So many people believe that if they simply ignore the facts, they will go away. You've already figured out that life doesn't work that way. The answer about the purpose and point to things may not come right away. Do your best to control what you can control and (try to) trust that after making some solid decisions that pay off that the answer(s) you seek will begin to appear. Keep your head up. And while I don't want you worrying, I do think it's a good idea to process through your emotions and consider them. It's no easy task, but the sooner you acknowledge your feelings, the sooner you begin to find those answers about what you can, should, and want to do.